9/4/20: The Evolution of Mistaken Criticism on the Road to Quiet Self-Contained Joy #poetry
When a person is fully living their own life
Fulfilling their destiny
Honoring their character
Creating
Fortunate enough to be born surrounded by love
Not spoiled but cherished
Endowed with a natural sense of entitlement
not in the social superior way
but in the existential respect for humanity way
grateful for the very gift of life
in awe of the vast array of possibilities associated with that gift
Possessed of self-esteem
before he or she could talk or walk
The imprint for all human interactions set as a baby
a mother’s nurturing warmth
a father’s strong admiration and protection
bestowed upon the person
not as a reward for any success, achievement or attainment
not for any beauty or intelligence or any other extraordinary attribute
but simply for the fact of his or her life
The blessed person is welcomed into the world with great hospitality
The second womb
For the first two or three years of life
the lucky fetus-like soul is cared for and grows
Then …
the happy little fellow or girl is introduced to the broader world
Teachers, friends, aunts and uncles, grandparents, kindly neighbors
initially continue to build the environment that the golden child knew at home
but sometimes slowly
and sometimes in abrupt and shocking ways
the little one is unfairly criticized
out of misguided concern
what was seen as a blessing is now characterized as a disability
out of an assertion of societal authority
the little one can’t be allowed to be and do as he or she pleases
There are rules
“Should”
The child learns a new word
“You should do this”
There is the shock of being mocked and condemned
for the very qualities that led to such love and admiration at home
Why?
Why the fall from paradise?
Most people never receive the unconditional love that our little hero or heroine got consistently and without interruption from day one
That love is necessary
and when it is denied people suffer greatly
They become misshapen
distorted
The absence of love leads to ignorance — a lack of curiosity and interest in the world, because the world is seen as a harsh and mean place to be avoided
The absence of love leads to lust and aggression — power as an ultimately inadequate love substitute
The absence of love leads to envy of those who are loved — a hate for those who have what is desperately desired and believed to be unattainable
The absence of love leads to fear and identification with societal authority to provide a facsimile of the security that love provides
The absence of love leads to criminality — life is seen as a war, a fight, a field of murder, rape and thievery
The absence of love leads to pride — armored souls mistaking their ability to survive as proof that they live lives of self-determination
The absence of love leads to greed’s golden false idols
The absence of love leads to the worship of success — the need to prove oneself in a way that is wholly unnecessary for the loved one — the loved one never had to earn his or her right to feel worthy, wanted, cared for
… of course,
our little protagonist begins his or her journey
completely unprepared to meet all the sorrow and anger and pain and stupidity of the world
and all of its assaults
At first, the loved one thinks all criticism directed toward him or her is right
and all criticism is sincere
The loved one thinks love is the nature of the world
without exception
Innocence
So the innocent listens and learns
and of course suffers
The loved one becomes exiled from his or her essence
His or her excellence
That special quality
becomes a source of shame
He or she began life as a unity
and is, at this point, divided
This might go on for several years
Self-betrayal has its rewards
Once plucky and independent
our main character now
fits in
This goes on for years
But the soul is a nag
Shame tuned into compromise and acceptance
which turned into a legitimate doubt
and legitimate guilt
something isn’t right
which turned into anger
which turned into argument
who was right? The loved or the unloved
Which turned into frustration
and resentment
and finally the unloved completely disappear
beyond being objects in an artist’s studio
still lifes
The only trace of the unloved
is the as a weakening delusional voice
in the loved one’s mind
that finally disappears
after decades of an odyssey
he or she returns back to hearth and home
quiet, peaceful and happy
this time aware of the sad storm outside …
Nothing to prove …
nothing to earn …
no one to please
love and work unite
the greatest social forces
are forces of nature.
Copyright 2020 Richard Thomas
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